Laziness Letter

Dear Representative of Homeowner’s Insurance:

I recently received your denial letter for the claim that my husband submitted on September 9, 2012 and I am writing to tell you that your denial is unjust. Your denial claims that the damages to our home are normal wear and tear and could have been prevented with normal maintenance.

It is not normal to raise nine children in a three bedroom home nowadays. There is no way that any two parent family with nine children can keep up with “normal” wear and tear of the home.

After speaking with several neighbors I have also learned that it is not normal to have a trampoline in your living room. Therefore, the dents and holes in the ceiling are not normal wear and tear.

A local survey, which I conducted in my local grocery store, also taught me that it is not normal for children to throw each other into walls, this makes your claim that the holes in the walls are normal wear and tear invalid.

When we informed you that the septic tank needs to be pumped you stated that is normal household maintenance, so we built an outhouse to prevent further filling of the septic tank. The township sued us for having an outhouse; we also included that in our claim. You stated you do not cover laziness in your business. I beg to differ, if we are lazy, we wouldn’t have built something in order to fix the problem.

In your letter you repeatedly referred to my husband as lazy to protect your company from having to give us what we are entitled to. That, my friend, makes you lazy. You’re too lazy to take the time to fill out a few papers and give us a check.

Normal, you say, you say my family is normal? There is nothing normal about any of us, and for this reason I demand an appeal to the denied claim. It is not normal wear and tear that has caused the damages listed in the claim; in fact, it is an overabundance of activity! Furthermore, I insist, that nowadays it is not normal to be raising nine children in a two parent family.

If you cannot see it in your heart to award us this claim, then you could at least offer my husband and me a vacation and take the children for a week. Then you can claim normal wear and tear on your home.

Sincerely,

Lazy Homemaker